If Volkswagen Actually Changes Its Name To Voltswagen, I'll Get A VW Tattoo [Update: That's Right]
Today, reports that Volkswagen’s U.S. arm would change its name to Voltswagen to reflect its transition to electric vehicle manufacturing started making the rounds. We were incredulous, but we posted about it because that’s what posters do.
Update Monday March 29, 2021 6:05 p.m. EST: Both Erin Marquis and Bradley Brownell have agreed to join me in getting some ink should this name change prove real.
Update Tuesday March 30, 2021 4:49 p.m. EST: Numerous reports have confirmed that I was right about this from the jump. Everything about it screamed “fake” from the tone of the press release to the lack of a trademark filing, to it being exactly the kind of goofy post-modern marketing gimmick that gets approved at a major corporation. Good for VW though, it worked.
Erin’s post expressed plenty of skepticism, but I’m going to take it a step further and say that, for sure, Volkswagen isn’t changing its name to Voltswagen. This is a stunt, and judging by the results a very good one. Anyone who didn’t know that Volkswagen is selling EVs before today, probably knows now.
As Erin alluded to, Voltswagen is the correct American pronunciation, but until I get source with a name, and I see a trademark filing I am absolutely not buying this, definitely not this close to April Fools’ Day.
Mark Gillies is one of the best PR people in the whole car business. If you e-mail him about an all-wheel drive system at 1 a.m., he will exchange e-mails with you until 3 a.m. until every question is answered. Guess who isn’t responding to e-mails today!
Guess who owns the URL Voltswagen.com? Could be you, but it’s definitely not Volkswagen. Did they forget to register the URL? COME ON!
Is it possible that this unnamed source within VW is telling the truth? That VW is on the verge of a massive, expensive and ill-advised rebranding effort in support of the one electric car the company is currently selling in the U.S.?
I suppose it’s possible. But, if it’s actually happening, if I’m wrong, I will personally drive to VW of America headquarters in Herndon, Virginia, in our GTI so that any Volkswagen staffer who wants to can watch me get a tasteful Volkswagen tattoo (my first and probably only tattoo) on my forearm. But I’m guessing that they’ll announce it was a joke on Thursday.
In 2007, Rihanna got a Sanskrit prayer going down her right hip. The tattoo was supposed to translate to “forgiveness, honesty, suppression and control”, a quote from the Sanatana Dharma. Unfortunately, the tattoo was misspelled and translated to “long suffering, truthfulness, self-restraint, inward calm, fear and fearlessness” instead. In addition to the incorrect translation, the text of her tattoo is also missing the rest of the original prayer, which reads “pleasure, pain, birth, death.”
This was the first time tattoo that she got from Bang Bang, who has since become her go-to artist. He credits Rihanna with introducing him to a slew of celebrity clients and launching his career to the next level. But before she was the jewel of his portfolio, she was just a girl who walked into his shop off the street and asked a lot of questions about piercings and tattoos. He didn’t recognize who she was and didn’t treat her any differently, and she loved that he was honest with her. In fact he was so brutally honest that he told her it was a bad idea to get the Sanskit text on the back of her leg where she wanted it.
“I remember thinking, this guy is gangsta as fuck. He doesn’t give a fuck about me—he doesn’t know who I am and that is brilliant. So that’s why I wanted him to do my tattoo. I knew he wasn’t going to try any funny shit or act crazy; he was just going to do my tattoo.”
“I was surprised when he wouldn’t put my first tattoo where I wanted it to go—up the back of my leg—but I was so shocked that I was actually open to his idea of moving it, and I’m glad I did. I was still early on in my tattoo game, so I trusted him as an expert more than I trusted myself because I didn’t know. When you’re well known, it can be hard knowing who to trust, but I trusted Bang Bang from the first time he tattooed me.”
Bang BangBlack InkHipPrayerSanskrit
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Brand-Name Tattoos Pegged for the Ultimate Consumer
Question from April 20:
What company mascot would you have tattooed on your body if it guaranteed a lifetime of free product?
I would have the company mascot of the U.S. Mint tattooed anywhere on my body!!!!
--CAMILLE WATKINS, Los Osos
Juan Valdez, without a second thought. We eat out daily and don’t mind the price of meals, but to pay $1.50 for 10 cents’ worth of coffee, that little tattoo would save us a bundle!
--JODY VESCIO, Walnut
I would have Star 98.7 tattooed on my bod if it would get me free front-and-center concert tickets to my favorite rock concerts for life.
--MICHELE BANKER, Pico Rivera
I would happily be tattooed for any big gas company that will give me a lifetime of free fill-ups, starting right now.
--SUSAN NOOGER, Winnetka
I would be willing to have Tiffany’s little blue box tattooed on me, even where it would show, to have a lifetime of free products from them. Wouldn’t anyone? Failing that, In-N-Out would be good. I’m easy.
Well, obviously, Bank of America on the bicep, followed by Tiffany on the ankle and perhaps a small Mercedes at the base of the spine. A Jaguar wreathing the ring finger would be nice.
--ANN FERGUSON, Silver Lake
I would have the Apple logo tattooed on a part of my body, cause an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
--FREDERICK RUSSELL, Indio
For a lifetime of free product I would tattoo the Ferrari prancing stallion on my forehead. I can hear Enzo spinning in his grave at high RPMs right now!
--MICHAEL GRANDPRE, Torrance
What tattoos would I get? NONE! Everyone knows a tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.
--DONN HUFFSMITH, La Canada
--STEVE WALKER, Costa Mesa
Question for April 27:
Innovative Concepts in Chicago produces a variety of candy placebos to cure personal problems, including “Cheepo Medication for Tightwads” and “Bad Hair Day Pills” (see story, this page). What other fake medicines do you suggest they produce?
Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, SoCal Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail [email protected] Include your name and hometown.
Name tattoos april
April Showers Bring May Flower Tattoos
After at least a month of dreary weather and plenty of rain showers, it's finally time for that all to pay off with beautiful flowers. In 1886, the proverb "March winds and April showers bring forth May flowers," was first recorded—however, today it's better known as April Showers Bring May Flowers. In honor of the month of May, we've curated some of our favorite flower tattoos from talented artists around the world, as well as interesting facts about each botanical variation.
Subgenera: Hulthemia, Hesperrhodos, Platyrhodon and Rosa
Symbolism: Love (red), Innocence (white), Death (black)
Origin: According to fossil evidence, roses date back 35 million years
Subgenera: Clusianae, Orithyia, Tulipa, Eriostemones
Etymology: The word tulip comes from the Ottoman Turkish Tulipa, which means gauze or muslin, and the flower was given this name because it resembled the Muslim turban.
Origin: Cultivation of tulips began in 10th century Persia.
Genera: Cardiocrinum, Notholirion, Nomocharis, Fritillaria
Misconception: Many flowers are given the lily name, however, not all are true lillies. For example, water lillies, calla lillies and lily of the vallies are not part of the lily family.
Fun Fact: Only white and tiger lilies have a scent, all other lillies are odorless.
Species: There are at least 38 known species of peonies, with 30 classified as herbaceous and eight classified as woody.
Cultivation: Ancient Chinese texts make many mentions to peonies, even when it came to cuisine. Famed Chinese philosopher Confucius was once quoted saying,"I eat nothing without its sauce. I enjoy it very much, because of its flavor."
Tattooing: Peonies are a popular motif in Japanese tattooing, symbolizing risk-taking and courage.
Etymology: The proper name for daffodils is Narcissus, which is connected to the Greek myth of Narcissus, who originated the term narcissism.
Symbolism: In the West, the flower symbolizes narcissism. However, in the East it symbolizes wealth and good fortune.
Philanthropy: In many countries, the daffodil is synonymous with cancer causes, such as the American and Canadian Cancer Societies.
Etymology: The word Iris is Greek for rainbow and not only serves the flower, but the goddess as well.
Subgenera: Iris, Limniris, Xiphium, Nepalensis, Scorpiris,Hermodactyloides
Environmental: In many places, yellow irises are grown in reedbed setups to purifying bodies of water.
Habitat: With the exception of three species found in South America, all sunflowers originate from North and Central America.
Growth: Sunflowers typically grow between six to 10 feet, taking between 70 to 100 days to go from seeds to their full foliage.
Species: While most recognize the helianthus annuus, there are actually 70 unique species of sunflowers.
Etymology: The proper term for carnations is dianthus caryophyllus, which in Ancient Greek translates to divine flower.
Habitat: Carnations originate from the Mediterranean and wild variations can be found in Greece, Croatia, Italy and Spain.
Symbolism: Red carnations are used to symbolism socialism and the labor movement.
Etymology: The proper term for daisy is bellis perennis, which means pretty everlasting in Latin.
Health: Daisies have chemicals that can constrict body tissue and were once used by surgeons in Ancient Rome.
Habitat: These flowers are typically found in Northern, Western and Central Europe.
Variations: There are over 28,000 species of orchids, distributed between 763 genera. There are four times as many orchid species as there are mammals.
Origin: Through genetic sequencing, it's believed that orchids go back 76-84 million years.
Habitat: Orchids typically grow in tropical climates, but species have also been found on the Arctic Circle.
Species: Despite their colorful and fragrant flowers, this plant belongs in the olive family.
Habitat: Lilacs originate from the Balkan Peninsula and grow on rocky hills.
Symbolism: In Greece, Lebanon and Cyprus, they're associated with Easter.
Species: Like Lilacs, Gardenias are in a surprising family and are closely related to the coffee plant.
Habitat: These flowers are most often found in Africa and Madagascar.
Popular Culture: Hattie McDaniel was remembered for wearing this flower in her hair when she accepted the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress—becoming the first person of color to win an Oscar.
Health: One species of poppy, papaver somniferum, is the source of the narcotic drug opium.
Currency: In 2004, Canada issued 25 cent coins with poppies on them, becoming the first country to issue colored circulation coins.
Symbolism: Because of their associate with opium, poppies often symbolize sleep and death—as referenced in "The Wizard of Oz."
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